Over the next couple of weeks, we will be covering some areas relating to the Sacrament of Marriage. Before we get into some of those hot topics, it is important for us to understand what a Marriage is.
The Code of Canon Law (the law of the Catholic Church that every Baptized person is bound by) states that “Marriage is the intimate, exclusive, indissoluble communion of life and love entered by man and woman at the design of the Creator for the purpose of their own good and the procreation and education of children; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament” There is much in this canon that we could flush out, but the key word here is indissoluble.
You see, Marriage is actually a case of not Natural Law, not Divine Law. This means that two atheists who understand what a marriage is, can create what we would call a Marriage Bond. That bond, if understood what it means to be married, is indissoluble. That means that regardless of what happens later in the marriage, that bond cannot be taken away, regardless of what civil law says.
For a marital bond to be validly contracted, both parties must understand the four things that make a marriage: free, total, faithful, and fruitful.
Free - both parties must freely and voluntarily enter into the marriage. In the Catholic Church we do not believe in shotgun weddings. The wedding must be free from any “outside force” that would force the two parties to be together. Both must freely choose to enter into the marriage.
Total - that is given over completely to each other. Both sides knows everything about the other and nothing is being held back.
Faithful - each party is choosing the other, and no one else. Joe can choose Mary, but not both Mary and Kathy. A marriage is between two people and no more.
Fruitful - openness to life. No barriers being in the way of the procreative act and an openness to receive children as the gifts that they are.
If all four of these things are known and understood by both parties on the day of the marriage, then an indissoluble bond is created between the two parties. The bond is present unless one of the spouses dies or is proven otherwise (i.e. an annulment).
Jesus, seeing the beauty and goodness of this bond, raised it to the dignity of a Sacrament. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches us that “On the threshold of his public life Jesus performs his first sign - at his mother's request - during a wedding feast. The Church attaches great importance to Jesus' presence at the wedding at Cana. She sees in it the confirmation of the goodness of marriage and the proclamation that thenceforth marriage will be an efficacious sign of Christ's presence.” In raising it to this Sacramental level, Jesus is saying that he wants to be a part of this beautiful relationship of love. The Code reminds us that marriage is not just indissoluble, but an intimate and exclusive communion of life and love.
In raising a Marriage to the level of a sacrament, he raises the dignity of a marriage, and gives the ability for grace to be given. No longer is it the couple trying to make it through on their own, but rather Jesus helping the couple to live a marriage well.
All of these things show the beauty and dignity of this great Sacrament. This is the reason that we as Catholics take Marriage so seriously. To us, it is not just a civil contract that two parties enter into. Rather it is a Sacramental Bond that is entered into for the rest of our earthly existence.
If you are experiencing any trouble within your marriage, there are lots of opportunities for help! A few links to get started with are:
• Catholic Counselors (https:achkck.org/family/care-support/catholic-counselors/)
• Retrouvaille (https://retrokc.com)
If you are looking for marriage enrichment resources, Larissa Smith, director of parish life and evangelization, is a great resource. You can reach out to her directly at lsmith@popolathe.org or 913-747-7746.
Peace,
Fr. Andrew